I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
