i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
