I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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