I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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