if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
