But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
