Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
