DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
