I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize