quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
