I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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