How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Shame is for Republicans.
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