Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
