I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
