Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
