We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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