im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
