remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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