party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize