I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
