It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
