Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the day after is always just damage control
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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