To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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