somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
