1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
