you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
