I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
