i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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