I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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