Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
