Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
