ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
