we have pet lesbian snakes
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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