I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
