i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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