office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
