There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
