she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
