Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
