That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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