The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
