I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He did a backflip because drugs
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