God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
