Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
