he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
