Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
