Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
