just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize