So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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