I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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