Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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