I CAN MOONWALK!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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