butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
