don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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