walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
