Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
