That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
