I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
