he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
They have beer where we have blood.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
