Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
