508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I want is dick and wine.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
