No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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