hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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