Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
