the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
