Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
