When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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